You can be more confident without needing to fix yourself.
Thinking that you need fixing, is what leads to low confidence.
The media plays a huge part in making you feel like you constantly need improvement.
It’s worse now with social media because when you see all the great things your colleagues are doing on Facebook, it’s now harder to tell yourself that feelings of inadequacy stem solely from big companies trying to pressure you into buying things.
You feel like you are lacking because your own reality seems below par.
People don’t purposely post things to make you feel bad about yourself.
People just like to post the great things that are happening in their lives, but then rarely mention the not-so-great things. This part is hidden.
And so if you are experiencing not-so-great things in your life, when it seems like nobody else is, it’s easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you.
You might even begin to think it isn’t normal to feel emotions like sadness or frustration – and so then judge yourself for having these feelings.
You might start to wonder why you haven’t figured it all out yet, like everyone else.
It’s this judgment that causes your self-confidence to sink.
An important realization to make is that it’s natural to feel uncomfortable emotions sometimes.
And a worthwhile confidence-building skill is to get comfortable with uncomfortable emotions.A worthwhile confidence-building skill is to get comfortable with uncomfortable emotions. Click To Tweet
Just because you are experiencing an uncomfortable emotion does not mean you’re inadequate.Just because you are experiencing an uncomfortable emotion does not mean you're inadequate. Click To Tweet
The ancient wisdom that classical 5 element Chinese medicine teaches is that there are 5 basic natural emotions corresponding with each of the 5 elements.
sympathy (corresponding with earth)
grief (corresponding with metal/air)
fear (corresponding with water)
anger (corresponding with wood)
happiness (corresponding with fire)
Expressing each of these emotions help you flow into the next.
Suppressing them keeps you stuck in one of them.
Though all of the 5 emotions are natural, not all of them are comfortable.
Criticizing yourself for having these uncomfortable natural emotions can lead to low confidence and judgmental states (like shame and blame).
And these judgmental states are not pure emotions. They are associated with your Ego’s negative self-talk and cause you to resist feeling the natural emotions.
So the next time you find yourself in a swirl of negative self-talk that destroys your confidence, ask yourself if the mind chatter is a result of trying to avoid the uncomfortable natural emotions.
And remind yourself that it’s normal to be uncomfortable sometimes. It doesn’t mean you have to fix yourself.
Everyone experiences these uncomfortable natural emotions – even if it isn’t evident on social media.
The thing about the natural emotions is that they exist to help you re-balance and can even help you regain your confidence.
So attempting to fix yourself beyond this natural re-balancing process is unnecessary – as long as you let yourself feel your natural emotions when they show up.
This is easier said than done! It can get tricky if the Ego mind gets involved- for instance, the natural emotion of anger can quickly turn into the judgmental state of blame and aggression if the Ego’s agenda takes over.
To help with this conundrum I put together a free 7 day course to help you get back in touch with your natural emotions.
This course, called the 7 Day Nature Connection Challenge connects you with the 5 elements in nature (earth, metal, water, wood and fire) to help you re-connect with your natural emotions without judgment.
Since the elements in nature do not have an Ego mind like humans do, this course helps you to connect with your natural emotions without your Ego’s judgments and agenda getting in the way.
You can opt-in to the course by clicking here.
Lea Tran is a Plant Spirit Medicine Healer and creator of The Path Clearing Process, a 90-Day Life Purpose Re-alignment Program using nature’s support to ensure you are always moving forward, reaching your true potential in the most balanced and fulfilling way.
Spending time in nature is such a great way to experience freedom from judgements and mind chatter. In my FREE 7-Day Nature Connection Challenge, I show you how to connect with your nature allies in simple ways so that you can better overcome what prevents you from experiencing more joy and purpose in your life. You can participate in this fun challenge by opting in here: pathclearingprocess.com/7-days